I wanted to just hop on here and touch base with our progress in the last few weeks and whats going on with us. Things are going well at least as well as expected. Two weeks ago is when our honeymoon ended. Those of you who didn't know about our honeymoon, it is actually what is referred to in the adoption world as that period when the babies are just as wonderful as can be. They are super good, sweet and do what ever you ask and then...... it ends! True colors come shining through. ;)
I have always been honest about my feelings on here no matter how rough it gets and I want to continue to do the same. So here is our update.
We are doing good. We are defiantly going through challenges but nothing we can't work through.
We are trying to do what will work for us. Taking in advice and seeing what works.
So here is what we have been dealing with in the past few weeks. Since Varvara is four and truly has a mind of her own ;) she is the one we are dealing with the most. She is stubborn and very strong willed. Is that the same thing? I think it is. On top of that she is brilliant!!
She is a button pusher, so if you say not to do something she likes to try it at least three times. Redirection at this point just causes her to go do something else. Although that is what I continue to do. Most of her behavior issues are because she wants attention. Good or Bad she doesn't care.
Example: If you ask her not to play with the TV remote she will walk away and find the phone and then when you take that she goes and grabs my camera and all along she knows she can not have them.
Now some may think it is the language barrier in fact many have asked me but its not. She is a brilliant little girl and understand pretty much everything I tell her or ask her.
She also no longer takes a nap with ease. The first 7 weeks she would lay down and fall asleep. Her naps were about 1.5-2 hours. And yes I said 7 weeks they have been here for nearly 9 weeks already and have been in my care for 10 weeks. Anyways back to naps, her new thing is to get up at least 3-6x. I place her back in bed each time and tell her she needs to nap. After a couple of times she starts her yelling and crying and don't forget they share a room so most times she wakes up Matvey who sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon. Somedays I was letting her get up and not nap but that routine ended when she refused to lay down thinking she could just get up and play. At this point I really need her to nap so I can have a small break. Its the only time me and Abigail have to work on things we want to do for school. Especially cooking. Abigail loves to cook so I try to do things with her in the afternoon. The babies both get up around 6:30-7 so by 1:00 they really need to lay down and nap.
Then comes bath days.... UGHHH!! I dread them. They are no longer a fun activity for me or Varvara. Don't get me wrong she loves baths the same as she has since day one but now you can not wash her hair or her body without her screaming. I have tried all sorts of things to help her and ME! Although I have not put in earplugs ;) She didn't complain the first month. She didn't care what you did, wash her, her hair, her feet nothing bothered her. I would take in consideration that maybe she had bad experiences at the orphanage but I really don't think that is it. I really think she is crying because she wants to play with her toys and she protests anything you ask her to do. She cries when you brush her hair but only if you have her sit the way you need her too. If she does it on her own time when she feels like it she is fine. I don't always let her get her way since we all know what that leads to.
The hardest part is trying to figure out why she is responding the way she does to things. Is it because of where she came from, her age, adjustment, down syndrome, stobborness, so on and so on.
I feel guilty for being frustrated with her. I feel guilty the times when I am impatient with her.
Food Issues??? Oh yes she has those. I expected it. They are not major issues but she gets so mad at times. Our biggest task we are working on is small bits and only one. Sometimes I feet like a helicopter parent. I hate being a helicopter sorry please do not take offense but helicopter parent are annoying. Admit it they are annoying. She over loads her spoon to the point it barley fits in her mouth and then when she has half chewed it she puts the next mouthful in. So as of now we resorted to only using a toddler fork for everything. It has helped with the big bites but not the two or three bits at once. So we continue to gently rest out hand on her fork until her bite is done. We know it will take time and encouragement for her to break the habit. She also get very upset when you touch her plate or help her with a bite. I just continue to tell her "Mommies help there children. And I want to help you"
I am not really just picking on Varvara. I love her dearly and she is a joy to have here. We just have a long way to go before she trusts us as parents. I know it hasn't been long and we are prepared for the time it will take to get us where we need to be. And it's okay, just some days are really really tiring.
As for Matvey, he is really is quite easy. Thank you Lord for one easy little one. We mainly deal with orphanage behavior from him. He does a lot of rocking and what we call "chanting". You would think it wouldn't be a big deal but after and hour of him rocking/chanting it gets a little much. He also bangs his head on the crib or wall in the middle of the night. Its the way learned to sooth his lonliness with no mamma. Oh how I hate being woken up in the middle of the night. I nursed all my bio kids and they slept with us for the first two years so I never really had to come to a full wake (advantages of breastfeeding), so the banging in the middle of the night compares to the screaming at bath time.
Really I am not complaining I am just letting you know that our life isn't always peachy keen here. We have our days that aren't so good. I have challenges that I didn't have with my bio kids. I am learning everyday how to love these little ones more and more. Still and not ever do have any regrets. I know this is what God has planned for us. Now all I have to do is Trust Him and lean not on my own understanding. No matter what challenges arise I will always and forever hold onto the promises of my Father in Heaven.
I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
I believe this. I hold onto this daily.
So the things that are going so well. Just let me brag ;)
Varvara is using the potty when we put her on it. Now I know that is not "her being potty trained" but we are using only two diapers a day, which, I happen to love ;) She has an amazing memory!! She is signing please when she wants something. She is Super Duper Absorbent like this >
She remembers everything and copies everyone. Monkey see, Monkey Do! She is a good mamma to her babies, always hugging them and kissing them. She also "in a fun way" spanks their butts. I always spake the babies butt in their diapers. Don't worry just in fun. In a very high squeaking voice we yell "spank your butt, spank your butt!"
Matvey is pulling himself up now to a stand. He is learning to play with the toys around him. He investigates them for a few minutes then tosses them to the side. And he is learning what "shhhhh" means. When he is chanting, very LOUDLY, we say "shhhhh" and he goes to a whisper. YEah!!! our ears get a small break which only last about 10 seconds ;)
They both are growing bit by bit. I haven't seen much of a weight gain from Matvey but Varvara seemed to gain about 2lbs. They both had doctor appointments last week and are being referred to a gasologist, cardiologist, orthopedic doctor and dentist. They were both born with hole in their hearts but they were cleared in Russia so it is mainly just a check up with the cardiologist. Matvey has to go to the gastroenterologist because he does spit up more than we thought. He swallows his spit up. I thought he was dairy intolerant but he isn't. I have been giving him smaller meals and only 4oz. of his bottle at a time and it seems to help a bit. Orthopedic, because Varvara's feet are just as flat as can be and turn in on to what should be her arches. Matvet stands on his heals most of the time. Dentist.... UGHH!!! All of Matvey's molars are rotted. He has at least 5 cavities, BIG ONES. Varvara's are pretty good; she does have some staining but that might be from the tea and coffee they gave her. So we will see what comes of all the appointments. Overall they are in good health. I am so excited to see them grow and develop.
Toodaloo!!!
Pic's of the DAY! Enjoy
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I am not sure if it is me or the babies that enjoy these more. They are the sweetest little stacking houses.
Each little animal has its own house. |
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| A perfect fit for little hands. |
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| Time for a nap little ones. |
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Matvey has learned to pull himself up to the
table so he won't miss out on any fun. |
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| I just love their sweet faces. |
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| Bottom of the stack. |
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Top View
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Monday, January 16, 2012
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4:33 PM
